As a therapist I find that I am always talking about self care. But what does that ubiquitous term even mean?? A helpful place to start is by understanding the difference between self comfort and self care, and on this cold weekend in the Northeast I thought it was the perfect time to really dig into it.
The Difference Between Self Care and Self Comfort
To me, self comfort means the things we do when we really need a break, whether physical or emotional. Watching tv is a common example of self comfort, maybe even with your favorite comfort food (this is my current favorite self comfort show!!) I like to think of self comfort as the things we do to be able to get us back to a place where we can actually take good care of ourselves…or sometimes as a way to recover after we’ve practiced tough self care. Self comfort works quickly, but the effect doesn’t usually last.
Self comfort ideas
Self care, on the other hand, doesn’t always feel very comforting and it’s often not easy. It can take longer, but the impact sticks around. Setting boundaries, saying no, and saying tough truths to people we love are all examples. Things like sorting through finances, going for a walk to release stress even when you don’t want to, or scheduling that doctors visit you’ve been putting off are forms of self care too. I think as self care as the things we do to be our BEST selves…things our future selves will thank us for. Sometimes these things are easy and fun. Sometimes they are really hard. Sometimes they are a blend, like coming to a therapy intensive retreat!
Self care ideas outside of therapy
When I can, I like to combine self care and self comfort. For example, I have to run some necessary errands this weekend that I’d rather put off. But putting them off will put me behind in my goals, so I’m going to run them, as self care. But I’ll listen to a podcast episode I’ve been looking forward to listening to and sip on a travel mug of hot tea while I get my errands done. The combination of the two puts a smile on my face.
Combining self care and self comfort
Another way to think about this is that you’re parenting the younger parts yourself. Parents have to say no a lot of the time. They also get to say yes to fun things sometimes. If you are being your own parent, it can be easier to see what’s true self care and what is self comfort.
What do you think? What do you use for self comfort, and what’s a step to true self care you’d like to take? For more of my ideas, check out the reel I made here.
We are all different of course, so you’ll see ideas in different categories than you would have put them. You may say a bath is self comfort, and I use it daily to really take care of myself (for me, it’s all about the releasing I do of the day as I let the water go). You say gummy bears, I say chocolate. That’s ok- I hope wherever you fall on the self comfort/self care spectrum right now, these ideas will help you thrive.
What’s one you might try this weekend?
